Definition of Compersion

Compersion is the broad range of positive emotions, thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors we experience when witnessing another person’s happiness, even when that happiness does not directly involve or benefit us. It is often described as the opposite of jealousy, though both emotions can coexist.

The term originated in consensual non-monogamy communities to describe the positive empathy one might display towards their intimate partner’s other romantic or sexual connections. Meanwhile, it also reflects a broader psychological phenomenon related to positive empathy or sympathetic joy: the ability to take pleasure and fulfillment in another person’s joy.

While compersion is most discussed in the context of romantic relationships, the concept applies more broadly to friendships, families, and collaborative environments. At its core, compersion reflects a psycho-emotional capacity to celebrate others’ success and wellbeing rather than perceive it as a threat.

Key Statistics

Research on consensual non-monogamy (CNM) provides important context for understanding the growing cultural interest in compersion:

• 1 in 5 Americans have engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives (2017 national survey; nearly 9,000 respondents).

• 4–5% of Americans are currently in CNM relationships, a proportion comparable to the percentage of Americans identifying as LGBTQ+.

• Kinsey Institute research indicates that approximately 1 in 6 people are interested in exploring polyamory.

• A 2020 YouGov poll found that 32% of Americans say their ideal relationship would involve some form of non-monogamy. Among millennials, that number rises to 43%.

• In 2016, 61% of Americans reported monogamy as their ideal relationship structure, compared to 56% in 2020, indicating a measurable shift toward openness to alternative relationship models.

• Online interest has grown significantly as well: Google search analysis between 2006–2015 shows a substantial rise in searches related to consensual non-monogamy.

These data suggest that while most people still practice monogamy, curiosity about alternative relational frameworks—and the emotional skills associated with them—is steadily increasing.

Cultural Trend Data

Polyamory and consensual non-monogamy are experiencing unprecedented media attention.

A May 6, 2024, article in Slate noted:

“In case you hadn’t noticed, polyamory is all the rage right now… The Atlantic asked whether polyamory is just a fad for the rich, the New York Times sought lessons from a 20-person polycule, and countless other publications have jumped on the so-called poly moment.”

Recent cultural signals include:

• High-profile memoirs exploring open relationships

• Major publications examining polyamory as a cultural shift

• Reality TV series such as Couple to Throuple

• Renewed attention to earlier cultural touchstones such as HBO’s Big Love

• Films like Challengers exploring complex relationship dynamics

Beyond relationship structure itself, media coverage increasingly focuses on skills developed within CNM communities, including:

• intentional relationship agreements

• explicit communication about sex and emotional needs

• distributed relational support networks

• greater awareness of attachment styles

These relational competencies are increasingly being discussed as valuable even within monogamous relationships.

Compersion is at the center of this conversation, representing a psychological skill that allows people to transform jealous reactivity into emotional growth, and cultivate positive empathy.

About Dr. Marie Thouin

Marie Thouin, PhD is a scholar, author, and relationship expert specializing in compersion and positive empathy. She is the author of What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships (2024)—the first comprehensive scholarly book on compersion. She also co-authored the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion and seminal peer-reviewed papers on the topic. 

Dr. Marie’s Work Explores:

• the psychology of jealousy and positive empathy

• what compersion is and isn’t, and what it takes for it to arise

• cultural shifts surrounding polyamory and consensual non-monogamy

• how relational skills developed in non-monogamous communities can benefit all relationship structures

Dr. Thouin’s research bridges academic psychology, cultural analysis, and relationship education, offering insights into how emerging relationship models are reshaping conversations about intimacy, empathy, and emotional wellbeing.

More information: www.mariethouin.com / www.whatiscompersion.com